Submission: What’s the Allure?

Raythe says …

Submission was second after MPREG in terms of kinks that turns you all on, but is definitely still taboo.

What makes submission hot?

Arguably, it is all about trust.  To completely submit to another person is to trust them absolutely that they will not abuse the power they have over you.  In real life, how many of us can honestly say that they would trust someone that much, let alone a sexual partner?

In fiction, the trust aspect is increased, because it is between the writer and the reader. The reader knows that this is just a “story” so things that they would never want to happen to themselves or others in real life can be indulged in, because we know, as readers, that the end result is a happy ever after or happy for now if it is a romance.


So what do you guys think makes submission hot?


9 Responses to Submission: What’s the Allure?

  1. Lainey April 15, 2017 at 9:44 pm #

    I believe submitting to some one is so amazing. As a submissive a person can give their absolute world for the person they love. They allow their partner to direct them and help them live to their full potential. The bond created with submission is based on trust and love and there is something so pure and romantic about it,

  2. NightOwl April 15, 2017 at 9:56 pm #

    I think it is about control.
    It is easy to forget that we rely on our sense of control to get through the day, the belief that we are in control of our bodies, our minds, our lives. And the idea of losing that for even a moment is terrifying.
    But then to think of being able to trust someone, give them complete control over you is actually extremely erotic.
    Sometimes you need to release control to someone else and trust that nothing bad will happen. And there is nothing sexier than watching a control freak submit.

  3. Chal April 15, 2017 at 10:04 pm #

    Being a submissive can be a lot of different things for someone. As a submissive you’re not only giving someone your absolute trust (which is really difficult for some people), but they are also giving you a lot of power over them. A true, safe dom/sub relationship might be considered as a balance of trust and power between all involved; trust that the dominant won’t abuse their power over the submissive, and vice versa. Add a powerful emotion such as love into the mix, and you have one heck of a bond. But it’s also something you need to be careful of by way of when that trust is broken. If a submissive’s trust in their dominant(s) is broken, then that can cause a lot of emotional and mental damage to the submissive, especially if you had that strong emotional connection and bond that can often form between D/S partners. Personally I like the fact I have a submissive personality in lovemaking because I’m otherwise a control freak in my every day life; being able to relinquish control to someone I trust is extremely cathartic and therapeutic (not to mention rocks my socks off 😉 ). So all those points are part of the allure for me, I suppose.

  4. Aredhel April 15, 2017 at 10:08 pm #

    It’s all about trust.
    If you can someone trust with all you have, when you have pure love.
    If someone trust you with all he or she has, when you have pure love.
    Even the love last only for moments, she was true, she was real.

  5. Natasha April 15, 2017 at 10:08 pm #

    With submission I believe that it Congress in different forms. There is the trust based submission where you left your partner lead but they still can object if the dom goes to far for comfort. Then there is a more darker form where the sub gets gradually broken down either mentally our physically and give in to the Dom to try and protect them selves to an extent. There’s also a third firm where the submissive and domineering times reflect the peoples personalities. The doing would be more confident and bold (extrovert) and the sin would be more timid/ reserved although they don’t have to be so reserved that they don’t socialize and such. I personally prefer the first and third forms best as they have a more healthy route and future in them but tbh I can get in the mood for the second type of it’s got a really good story line like a psychological twist with the doms mental state where they think they are acting in a loving affectionate way but don’t really understand our learned the beast way to show it and the sub finds the strength to show them the right path. Sorry if I waffled on lol

  6. Raine April 15, 2017 at 10:16 pm #

    The first book I read including bdsm was simply out of curiosity, and it turned out to be a good choice as it was written by an actual submissive in the lifestyle. What I enjoyed about it was that it gave me a chance to learn about a different subculture, and see new forms of relationship dynamics (when it’s done properly of course). I’m always a sucker for the more emotional side of a relationship, and a true d/s relationship is built on trust, honesty, and communication, so it’s hard to describe, but it sort of makes you feel the characters’ love for each other more deeply, or have a better understanding of it.

  7. Forrest Deimel April 15, 2017 at 10:54 pm #

    As a submissive myself, it allows my mind to shut off for a while. I’m a nurse, so my mind and spirit are often frenzied and anxious. The time spent submitting to my Dom let’s me just exist in the moment.

    Along with this, the act of submitting lets me show with my actions the love and emotions I feel but can’t express. Whether it is mere oral sex or a full session of spanking and sex, I get to please the one person most important to me.

    In our household, we are equals. I work and we both are raising 2 girls. We maintain a closeted appearance for their sake. But in our quiet moments together…I get to kneel…

  8. Reisuke April 16, 2017 at 6:18 am #

    ok this is a re-post since i guess i posted it in the wrong place before!

    Ok I have plenty of opinion here but it delves a bit farther for me into a topic that I’m not 100% comfortable discussing with strangers, but lets just say that for me it has more to do with enjoying physical pain but not enjoying the concept of self-inflicted pain and the mental compunctions and judgements that go with hurting ‘yourself’

    Theres a lot of rush to be had in handing another power over yourself, weather thats physical, lifestyle, emotional, mental, etc.

    but theres also a fine line between trust, power, and abuse. my biggest problem is that a lot of time when writer try to write a ‘submissive’ character they take it too far and create an abusive relationship. even if the dominate partner is made of kindness and sunshine there are still certain behaviors that arent just ‘dominate’ but rather ‘possessive’ or ‘controlling’ … permission can be persuaded and submissive behavior can easily lead to something cruel and unwell.

    its kind of like how my fiance makes me breakfast in bed almost every morning, he doesnt do it (entirely) to be sweet or to make sure im eating right, he does it because its the only way he can get my lazy butt out of bed before noon cus he knows i wont want to waste the food and i wont wanna eat it once its cold so i force myself to get up and eat it! this particular behavior is good for me because honestly i would sleep my life away otherwise but similar ‘kindnesses’ can actually be abuse in disguise. like a man who is ‘kind’ enough to wash a girls laundry but he really does it so he can control what she wears, etc. it doesnt take much for even a non-labeled/intended dom/sub relationship to have someone take simple gestures and make them into something in the realm of control and even non-con, and all it takes is patience for learned behaviors to become instilled until someone doesnt even realize they’ve lost all control in their own life and they have no power over themselves anymore…

    honestly its a really touchy subject in this day and age where far too many people see every little thing as a slight/insult/trigger to the point that free speech is rarely un-challenged. you could just see ‘submissive’ as a character trait and BDSM term but it has lots of deeper connotations if you perceive it in a real world sense and not just as something to be read about in books…

  9. Methuselah1 April 21, 2017 at 9:44 pm #

    I think stories about submission can be beautiful and wonderful but It loses all allure for me the second the submissive partner starts to fear their dominant. The doms I have spoken to all agree that while there is an illusion of giving over control, the sub still has the power to say no at any time and if they aren’t comfortable with doing something, no good dom will force them into it. There has to be trust that either partner can stop and end the scene, and there HAS to be after care, or it’s not true Submission or even sex. It’s rape.

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