Should Only Gay Men Write and Read M/M Romance?

Raythe says …

I recently ran across an author who posted a blog post, which I’m not going to link to, because even though, as you’ll see, I completely disagree with him, he’s not the first one to come to this dubious conclusion.  So he’s a stand-in for this argument overall.

Full disclosure: I am a bisexual white woman who both reads and writes M/M Romance.

Should Only Gay Men Write or Read M/M Romance?

This author says a lot of outrageous and demeaning things about women, men and non-binary people who enjoy M/M Romance written by women. He claims that women who write M/M are unqualified, sexist, appropriators of gay people, who can’t write and are doing this just for the money.

He further claims that anyone other than a gay man that enjoys or is aroused by reading M/M Romance are using gay men as “vibrators”. You can see yet another reason why I’m not linking to his post as this is a mild description of it.

But let’s look at this question as if it had some merit.

Diversity in the M/M Romance world is a good thing.

First, let me say, that there is an area of opportunity in the M/M writing world for more gay male writers, and all sorts of people, to join the throng and write more books in this genre (and, honestly, most genres). The more people writing M/M will give us many types of stories and just deepen the pool for readers to find what speaks to them.

Biology does not make a great writer. 

And biology certainly shouldn’t limit what types of people a writer can tell stories about. Writing is as much about knowing the psychology of people as spinning a yarn.

There’s the old adage of “write what you know” but that would be quite limiting if we took that to its full literal conclusion where, for example, I could only write about white bisexual women writers in my same town, my same age, doing what I do, etc. No one wants to read that story. It would bore you to tears. Trust me.

What that phrase really means is understand the subject and people you intend to write about as thoroughly as possible.  Simpler: know your shit.

I’m sure we’ve all had that amazing moment when we are so hooked into a story where the characters seem so real to us that we can’t imagine that they don’t exist! You feel they could be your friends! That you meet them on the street!  That you want to know them in real life!

I’ll bet, you’ve had that experience with a female character written by a male author or a male character written by a female author, etc. Because good writing is NOT biology. It’s psychology.  Good writing is understanding people.  Not just understanding your own POV.

Being aroused by or liking M/M Romances doesn’t mean gay men are being demeaned or used. 

As to the idea that only gay men should enjoy or be aroused by M/M Romance … sigh.  We’ve discussed on this blog (and many other people have, too) why people other than gay men like M/M Romance and find it more appealing than let’s say M/F.  It’s a huge and nuanced discussion. But some overarching explanations are as follows.

Sometimes, for some people if the gender of the two parties is the same it allows the reader to get away from societal norms of how relationships are supposed to work and enjoy the story more.

Other times, it allows the readers to fall in love with both parties in the relationship rather than being relegated to one.

And there are countless other reasons.

Are there “bad” portrayals of gay men out there in the M/M Romance world? Sure!  Are some of those “bad” books written by straight women?  Sure!  Are some of those “bad” books read by straight women? Sure!

If these were the ONLY representations of gay men in M/M Romance, the author of the blog post and purveyors of this POV might have a point that gay men were being harmed by such “bad” books.  But those aren’t the only books out there.

Unlike in the past, self-publishing has ensured that anyone can now tell their story and post it for the world to read.

So the author of the blog post – who is also an author of M/M Romance BTW – can put up the stories he thinks are the best representation of gay men and maybe his readers (only his gay male readers, mind you, as he doesn’t care for or want female readers) will agree with him.

Or maybe they won’t.

But readers and writers shouldn’t be limited in the choices of what they read or write by biology.  They should be able to take a spin in another person’s shoes, because that’s what allows us to understand each other and bring us closer together as human beings.

And really, isn’t that what good stories are all about?

Please let me know what you think in the comments!

64 Responses to Should Only Gay Men Write and Read M/M Romance?

  1. Natasha Barlow July 22, 2018 at 7:30 pm #

    And this us why I like raythe lol. Great logic and even better writing skills :). Couldn’t of said any better on said subject

    • Raythe July 22, 2018 at 7:42 pm #

      I wrote this blogpost several times. The first ones were … ranty. I mean I literally picked this guy apart like he was a carcass and I was a bird of prey. Then I realized he’s an idiot, really, and that his … “facts” and other thoughts were low hanging fruit. What was important was to address the really overarching issue, which was this idea that no one other than gay men should read or write gay romance and THAT had to be discussed.

  2. Janel July 22, 2018 at 7:33 pm #

    I read them for the story. I can’t even begin to count how many times I’ve skipped over or speed skimmed through a sex scene to get back to the story. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy a hot romp in the sheets as much as the next person, but it’s not why I read them. There’s plenty of straight up erotica out there if that’s all I was interested in.
    I don’t even know nor care about the gender of an author most of the time, as it has no bearing whatsoever on a person’s ability to write a good story or perform the research necessary to understand a subject.

    • Raythe July 22, 2018 at 7:47 pm #

      I think some people love the idea of the author being part of the world that they write. Like a handsome gay man who LIVES this life, you know? Contemporary romance is really where that comes into play a lot. It becomes part of the fantasy. But that’s where you get the Santino Hassell’s of the world among others. Not always, but it becomes an issue.

      The thing is that when I read stories, I don’t want to see the “author” in them. I want to just see that world and those characters.

      While I’ve always upfront about being a woman, I do use a psuedonym and have X. Aratare as a pen name, not to make people think I’m a guy or a gal, but honestly so they don’t have expectations either way unless they look up more about me. There are people who claim they will only read M/M by men because women are “terrible” at writing it then they read my stuff and are like oh, it’s about the writing … Not that I’m so great, but I really write action and adventure where the characters being gay isn’t the core of the story. They just happen to be gay.

  3. Uosakim July 22, 2018 at 7:34 pm #

    Should only heterosexual people read and write heterosexual novel ?
    And the bisexual juste bisexual novel or because they love both they can acces everything ?

    • Raythe July 22, 2018 at 7:49 pm #

      Yeah, exactly. If we stretched this idea to its logical conclusion then we see how absurd it is. I was like: so in this guy’s books there are NO FEMALE CHARACTERS, right? There are no straight or bi or trans people, right? Because he couldn’t possibly write about them properly according to him!

  4. Vera_lemur July 22, 2018 at 7:36 pm #

    Thank you for NOT providing the link to this story, because if it had been provided I would be fighting the urge to write the angriest most well thought out counter argument of my life to an audience who’s ears are too stopped up to hear anything but the sounds of their own voice reverberating in their skulls.

    I FULLY agree with you on both the reality of the literary world and the foolishness of adhering to the old adage of ‘write what you know.’ as an asexual female who is pan romantic that logic would tell me that because I do not partake OF sex, I am not permitted to write ANY sex. Which is ridiculous. this writer’s opinions are very interesting to contemplate, and the point of the harmful nature of poorly written gay fiction is not SOLELY a woman’s fault. Men with no talent for writing X subject but do anyways do harm to X community all the time. it’s not a gender problem, nor is it a LGBT exclusive problem. A sole author with NO CONCEPT of the BDSM community wrote a best selling series and damaged the BDSM community who are even still today attempting to correct the sudden influx of damaging people who have the WRONG idea of what BDSM is because they read a fiction novel. Bad writing happens. It damages communities that are still attempting to become main stream enough to be taken seriously. We must all, as a community attempt to be more discerning as both readers and writers to do our part to not contribute, as well as not cast stones when the entire neighborhood is made of glass.

    • Raythe July 22, 2018 at 7:58 pm #

      As to the link, yeah, people would be PISSED reading this and they would descend upon him en masse. And while he might deserve to get slapped around a little (or a lot), I don’t like to hurt people. So I didn’t want to instigate that. Besides, what’s important is the counter argument to him. I doubt he’ll ever see this or realize I’m talking about him, but maybe if he does without getting screamed at he’ll rethink what he said.

      There IS danger when the “wrong” view of a community is the one that gains traction. And I can completely understand why the BDSM community was like: oh, Hell, no! That’s not right at all!

      So if the story was that this was the only representation that M/M Romance was getting, i.e., these alleged “bad” books written by straight women, without any type of realistic or “good” representation of gay male relationships, I could understand his rage. But the thing is he’s writing the books he thinks are those “good” books. My guess is that no one reads them and that’s what is making him really angry, because no one understands his genius. They’re all reading the crap woman-written books.

  5. Maevyn-Yuki July 22, 2018 at 8:15 pm #

    Thank you for posting such an interesting conversation piece. One of the first ideas that popped into my head at the topic was Yaoi which is m/m written by women for women. I agree that in some ways the m/m allows the casting off of social rules so that people can delve deeper into a relationship between two lovers. The socially constructed gender roles keep people from being able to explore and express their thoughts and feelings due to the fear of reprimand of the Gender Role Keepers.
    I was having a conversation with my daughter, the other day, and we were talking about how the need to label creates even more fractures in an already fractured society. Does the person I choose to sleep with have such an impact on what I do for a living? No! Then why should it affect the people I write about? Unless you are using m/m to perpetuate negative stereotypes and hatred then what is the problem? I would also like to add that if this author is telling the truth then I guess there were no m/m writers in the world before the category of lgbt was created in the book world because if a woman is incapable of writing m/m books then a gay man must also be incapable of writing heterosexual books.
    With so many serious issues out there to worry about, why create more avenues which will bread hate and contention?
    Stepping down from my soapbox now. Does anyone want to borrow it?

    • Raythe July 22, 2018 at 8:21 pm #

      Truly, every author brings something of themselves to the story so when you have different types of people writing different types of books, you get BETTER stories, not WORSE. Because it brings a different sensitivity and understanding. Now being ignorant or stereotypical of who and what you’re writing about is the kiss of death b/c that will never make a really good story.

      And, as readers, we get to BE with those characters, maybe with types of people in real life we haven’t had exposure to, and we understand them and things differently.

      So we should be OPENING the doors wide for all sorts of people to write EVERYTHING because that means we get to learn more, experience more, enjoy more. Understanding does not breed hate but the opposite.

      Now I’m getting down from my soapbox until the next comment! LOL!

      • Erinys July 22, 2018 at 8:53 pm #

        Ooh! Soapbox! Tobi likes! *nuch fluttering of arms and (Ahem. Feeling a bit silly today.)

        Kay! I agree so much! What I live about reading is that I can get in the author’s head between every line, seeing the characters, KNOWING them, feeling their sorrows and pain and joys, walking beside them instead of in my own head. That’s what I love.

        Without variety of authors, and thus, characters, I wouldn’t have that. And that would be BAD. So, I love Raythe’s writing, and the writing of other such wonderful authors, like Hyliian and Lucilla and many more.

  6. Erinys July 22, 2018 at 8:38 pm #

    Dear Vera_lemur, Raythe, and everyone else,

    Some people are just so illogical and irrational and unreasonable and deliberately ignorant to a disgusting degree!! Ugh!

    That was wise Raythe, though I totally would’ve read your rant. You just can’t argue with fools, especially close-minded ones. It just goes right over their heads. Even talking about them, they just aren’t worth it!

    You are wonderful! I love, love, love that comment! I’ve never heard close-mindedness phrased to well! Kudos! ‘an audience who’s ears are too stopped up to hear anything but the sounds of their own voice reverberating in their skulls.’ I love it! Gah! So, so, so much!

    And I completely agree with the insight on the BDSM community being misconstrued. I’ve noticed myself. I hate those books (and movies). (I don’t say THAT much! I love most books.)

    I agree with everything you said, except, perhaps, the ‘neighborhood of glass’. While an accurate enough description of reality, it doesn’t have to be this way. I think everyone should cast less stones and be less politically correct AND less sensitive. Live and let live, you know? We’re not, in fact, tribes throwing spears over the walls of our self-righteous convictions. I just wish more people could see that. I have hope for the future, though.

    (I’m not saying this about Raythe’s group.)

    I love you all, you’re a great group of people, and it sorrows me to hear there are people like this guy out there. Stay strong, you all know what’s right and good.

    . . . And that’s Raythe and others like her. She could be an alien from Abaddon’s ship or an genderless a-morph alien and I couldn’t care less. Huzzah! *happy dance for good writing, no matter where it comes from*

    And Raythe, you will always have my eternal support. The comparison between souls and bodies and butterflies really helped me out of a daek place. I hope you always know that you reach people in the most profound of ways.

    IF I can stop one heart from breaking,
    I shall not live in vain;
    If I can ease one life the aching,
    Or cool one pain,
    Or help one fainting robin
    Unto his nest again,
    I shall not live in vain.
    – Emily Dickinson

    You have more impact than you could ever believe. We love you.

    Oh! And you are a part of the stories and this world to me! To me, you’re just on this side of the fourth wall, cackling softly into a glass of champagne as you watch it all unfold. (I blame reading your reader’s and your comments after reading your delicious stories for THIS mental image.)

    – Cas
    (aka. Casandra, aka. Erinys, aka. PhoenyxPhyre, aka. Cainyxs)

    • Raythe July 22, 2018 at 8:52 pm #

      Kat had a much kinder theory than me (though she felt I was much too kind in this response to him) that he was mostly angry because the books out there didn’t reflect HIS experience and writing his own books wasn’t actually hitting the mark. So his anger stemmed from not seeing himself. However … if that’s true, why he thinks a woman couldn’t write that book is beyond me.

      I think I will take you up on your offer to be an alien on Abaddon’s ship. That sounds pretty good to me!

      In any event, thank you for your kind words and thoughts on this. He would have learned a lot reaching out to readers and listening to them.

      • Erinys July 22, 2018 at 9:00 pm #

        No kidding!!! I’ve learned a lot reading your’s and your other reader’s comments. He could learn so much, but only if he wants to! I learned so much in my childhood about bashing my head against a brick wall trying to get other people to understand or accept me ir like me, and it just doesn’t work! If a person doesn’t want to change, they cannot. It’s too bad, really.

        Right! So true! What does it matter, so long as the end result is the same — good books?

        Though, I’m a fanfiction reader, and I notice when my writer is male, like 85% of the time.

        Oh, you’re welcome! I’m happy to spend a few happy moments sharing my thoughts with such a good group of people!

      • Erinys July 22, 2018 at 9:03 pm #

        Oh, and yeah, I agree with Kat — you were much too kind. *slyly* Could you tell? Ah well, bashing accomplishes nothing. Except a bit of fun, when it’s this much deserved!

      • Kat July 22, 2018 at 9:43 pm #

        Because a woman would be ‘not him.’ From this post and the subject matter of his books, I can speculate with some confidence that he identifies quite strongly with his gender (i.e. a ‘gay man’ first and a person second.) Not all of us are like that; he may have had a strongly-gendered upbringing. I’m speculating here, but it may be something he has trouble reconciling with his current identity, just because that’s pretty common among men his age (if my guess is accurate.)

        It’s childish, and not in the insulting way, but literally. ‘How can anyone else possibly understand and describe MY experience?’ This is the way a child thinks. Children are not adept at what we call ‘perspective taking,’ which happens over the course of years and finally starts to show up around 8-10 years, if I remember correctly.

        So, to model this, the child-self is mad that he is not being heard or understood. He’s back in 3rd grade, waving his hand around in the classroom, but he’s not getting called on. Meanwhile, the teacher is favoring people who appear to be his ‘opposite’ – the cis-gendered girls, who have ready, popular answers that the teacher approves of. To *him*, the teacher is ignoring him, perhaps deliberately.

        Add possible identity conflict to the mix, and you have yourself anger, frustration, and the resulting scapegoating of a general group (women who write M/M, in this case.) Does the guy have good points? Yes, I think he does, but they are terribly blunted by the fact that he can’t let go of his anger. Because of it, he makes arguments about people that are risibly unsound. You can’t even argue against them because arguments are logical. He’s just reacting.

        • Erinys July 23, 2018 at 1:33 pm #

          Thank you so much for your perspective, Kat!

          I really like what you’ve read! It’s so concise and well-written and well-reasoned! It’s a beautiful argument, and while I haven’t read anything of his, certainly seems logically and psychologically sound from what I know of him and psychology.

          Thank you so much for the fresh perspective! I really appreciate it and I really enjoyed reading it! I love learning new things and I didn’t even think of this psychological possibility! And he does sound like he’s just reacting, as a child would!

          People like this DO tend to use a scapegoat so they’re not responsible for their own actions and failures, real or perceived, whatever they may be. I’ve met people like this. I’m not saying he’s a bad person (I’m not saying he’s not, either. I haven’t read his rant. Chances are that if I had, there would be disgust behind my words. I loathe intolerance, misogyny, androgyny, bias, etc. And someone ISN’T wholly one of their beliefs. As Inconsequential said, he could very well be a good father. He just sounds like a hateful person to me.) but he definitely needs to readjust his perpective of reality, because it’s flawed.

          I wish him all he deserves, for good and ill, for consequences and growth as a person.

  7. Ipodpixie July 22, 2018 at 9:18 pm #

    Freedom of choice means just that. I can read whatever I like and favour certain authors if I want. And to quote what you summarised if I want to use them as a ‘vibrator’ then that would be my choice too. It makes me sick when people bleet on about diversity and being who and what you want, love who you want and then those same people start wittering on like this. Would he prefer a return to the draconian olden days, the days when ‘queers’ were imprisoned or sent to mental hospitals. Go back to a time when homosexual individuals were denied a voice and a chance to live a life filled with the same love, family, trials and tribulations as anybody else. He should do what he does and mind his own business with regard to the choices of others!

    • Raythe July 22, 2018 at 10:35 pm #

      I really think he believes that life would be better if there were simply no women writers or readers of M/M. Maybe then it would be “purer” or something. He doesn’t like MPREG, he doesn’t like x or y or z, then don’t read it and don’t write it. But don’t condemn others for doing so and don’t think you can pull up a drawbridge either.

      Doesn’t he realize that the “majority” of people have no interest in M/M and think we’re all disgusting perverts, gay men, et al, alike?

      • Ipodpixie July 22, 2018 at 11:02 pm #

        Well that’s tough because women writers and readers are here to stay. We make up roughly half of the population and apparently we are even allowed to vote and get jobs – amazing but true! If this guy wants to make a living as an author he should probably try not antagonizing such a large group of potential readers. Wake up people the world needs women and we are here to stay!!!

  8. Karla July 22, 2018 at 9:19 pm #

    “Because good writing is NOT biology. It’s psychology”. Couldnt have said it any better! If the story grabs me, I dont care if the MC’s are M/M, M/F or if the author is male or female. A hot sex scene is nice, but not really necessary. If the story is good, then its icing on the literary cake!

    • Raythe July 22, 2018 at 10:32 pm #

      Good writing really is the key here. It’s not what “type” of person is writing, it’s what kind of writer are they? Are they good at reading people and understanding others’ perspectives.

  9. Crystal Mobley July 22, 2018 at 9:20 pm #

    Lol no.doubt that is exactly the trouble. It’s an argument that us brought up again and again, how does one partake of the world in such a way as to be respectful of others who are different, but still love and experience those differences?
    It’s a tough question, one that needs examination, not bilious scree spewed out upon people who.are only do their best- as everyone else is. I think the key here is to remember that whatever the difference between a character and the author, or the reader, people have a few core similarities. Things we all feel, need, want, common threads of experience, what evokes our feelings might be unique to each of us, but the essence is the same.

    • Raythe July 22, 2018 at 10:31 pm #

      You’re so right in how you describe this and how its a very weighty question that gets lost amidst a lot of prejudice and hate. I don’t hate this guy. I understand some of his frustration at least in regards to what he sees as the limitations of who is seeing his work if it isn’t popular, etc. But limiting the artists and the consumers of art doesn’t make the art better. It actually withers it. Yes there will be “bad” art out there consumed “badly” but that doesn’t mean we push the ladder from the wall and say: only those within these walls may now enjoy this art! It doesn’t make sense.

  10. Erinys July 22, 2018 at 9:24 pm #

    Exactly, Ipodpixie! How does he know how females think, anyway? He seems rather disconnected!

  11. moonep July 22, 2018 at 9:27 pm #

    Heh, I don’t believe I have even read a single M/M story written by a gay man (or if I have I was not aware of it, maybe a fanfic at some point). I tend to stick to sites like Raythe Reign and fanfiction. I was also a member of Kira Takenouchi’s website until she stopped writing, and another site called yaoifix (which has moved and is now free too!, but I still call it by its original name). All of which were created and written by… you guess it, WOMEN! There is nothing wrong with women writing M/M fiction/romance stories. Just as there is nothing wrong with men wanting to write F/F or any other combination. Writing is a form of art. Are they saying women cannot paint/draw/any other medium they use for art if it involves two men? Art is for everyone to enjoy creating or enjoying.

    • Erinys July 22, 2018 at 9:34 pm #

      Amen!!! *happy dance, because moonep just GETS it*

    • Raythe July 22, 2018 at 10:29 pm #

      I think a lot of women got into this through fanfiction and that’s where sites like mine and those others were born out of.This was before Amazon, et al. opened up, and people wanted to write original M/M stories that they had only done in fandom before. It makes sense that those who started there would like to continue on in those same types of ways of getting stories.

      But yes, here’s the thing it would depress and sadden me if we DIDN’T have tons of voices in M/M. It’s already still considered weird and unnatural to like it. But the more people we have reading and writing it the better its going to get. I just wish instead of being angry because women are coming in and writing in the “gay space” that people would throw open their arms to see it in a different way.

      • Erinys July 23, 2018 at 1:16 pm #

        . . .People consider me weird and unnatural? Not that that really matters, but I suppose my reclusive self hasn’t noticed. Huh. Well, I’ll just emulate Harveste Addams (with less blood) and just be myself and accept others as they are, no matter how weird or strange or unnatural, because that can only be a good thing.

        People who read fanfics will get this, but I’ll tell you what I’ve noticed just in case you haven’t read them obsessively like I have:

        1. The flavour and tone of each fandom changes over time according to the fanfics type and number. Supernatural fanfics feel differently than Harry Potter fanfics on an intrinsic level.

        2. The more fanfics written and read in a fandom, the more the fandom evolves and changes.

        3. This is a /very/ GOOD thing! With each new submission of art to our world, it’s like a new shade of color has been discovered in a world that used to be grey and lonely.

        4. Ergo, due to principles of basic psychology, this microcosm of fandoms I’ve observed on, Archive of Our Own, Tumblr and Pinterest, etc. is applicable to larger, less easily observed fandoms.

        And I conclude, all writers, even bad and ‘bad’ writers, improve a fandom or community.

        Why should any work of art be considered trash? Live and let live, people! Those authors improve, and/or they fill a of niche of guilty pleasure-seekers who like relaxing and reading ‘trash’. Not me, but that doesn’t make this or them /WRONG/, they just are, and have a right to exist and read and write whatever they want, just like the rest of us!

        Praise be for free will!!!

        MY arms are open wide, I just hope everyone’s feeling this way, or will come to realize how great it is!

  12. Inconsequential July 22, 2018 at 9:49 pm #

    Ok, so i know the author. Met him a few times. He’s a wonderful father, a wonderful writer and witty when he chooses to be. He’s also very human and I think a lot of his perspectives are skewee based on what publishers require and of course the market itself. There are a ton of things written that would have deeply insulted me if it were not for the fact that i dont think him a malicious or hateful person but rather a person who’s opinions are formed based on the restrictions and rules of publication. The irony that biology determines talent, that gay men are fetishes, that women can’t be friends with porn stars, that women would rather use books as vibrators rather than find a living being ( as if het romance doesnt exist too), that parts NOT hearts matter i think speaks to his frustrations and what is being projected to him rather than the reality. Its easy to dismiss and say a voice is being stifled or run out of town etc. I have long noticed that despite what restrictions or challenges publishers may put in the way, talented writers make it work and their books sell. I also think it unrealistic to not include sex in romance books because sex is part of life and for most women, having sex forms deeper intimate connections with that person. It is the awe moment. But i digress. I could say more but its pointless. Its a recurring argument and dadly a lot of gay male authors DO feel this way so maybe we all should tske a dtep back and analyzr why that is. What are we projecting? I day projecting because ad we all know, projecting is NOT slways thruth. I dont agree with him but i know hes not an ogre.

    • Raythe July 22, 2018 at 10:18 pm #

      First, I want to say, I respect you speaking on his behalf. So this isn’t against you. It’s not even really against him. It’s against a prejudiced idea of who can write about what.

      If you know your subject, if you’re respectful, if you’re a good writer, you can write pretty much anything. Is your understanding of someone different than you going to be as “real” as someone of that group? That’s a good question. Maybe yes, maybe no. It will be different. But it doesn’t mean it’s bad or it shouldn’t be done. There are subjects I don’t write about because I don’t have the understanding of that kind of person or group or area. When I tread into that area I’m very careful. Some, I feel, I cannot do justice to and back away. But that doesn’t mean that someone else might not be skilled enough to do it. Your friend would say though that no one else other than a gay man should be allowed to write or read about gay romance. That’s just ludicrous. I am betting that there are gay men who have read his books and find them “bad” and “unrealistic” because it doesn’t tell their truth, doesn’t reflect their story. They would be right! But that doesn’t mean he can’t write his books!

      As to fetishes. Yes, to some people M/M Romance overall (not talking about MPREG, or any true fetish) is ALL fetish. Is that good, is that bad? I don’t judge people on what they find sexy, when its not hurting anyone. And that’s the key here. Is it hurting anyone if straight women are writing and reading books that aren’t very “good” and aren’t very “realistic” and would repel gay men? I would say “no.” Because self-publishing allows all voices to write about anything. So these gay men who have a problem with “women’s M/M Romance” can simply their own stories.

      Now here’s where it gets dicey. Because a lot of these guys, not all but alot, are angry because their books aren’t being read at the same volume as the “objectionable” ones and that’s when the: these women suck (both readers and writers), they need to get out of OUR space, etc. arguments come in. What they don’t seem to understand is that readers aren’t going to start flocking to them once these women are out of the way.

      As to the idea that the “market” or “publishers” want only these types of stories – yes, MPREG is hugely popular, but it is a FETISH and the audience is hungry for what it provides – that doesn’t mean you can’t write any other kind of M/M Romance. Really, there’s no publisher out there right now in the M/M world, I think that’s earning its cut of any authors’ earnings. Authors, you can do it better on your own! But I digress. You don’t have to go through a publisher to put out your books to the same audiences they do with the same possibility of success. Meaning, it doesn’t matter what publishers want.

      As to the audience, yes, MPREG is big right now but I don’t read it or write. I know there are a ton of people who don’t. I know there are a ton of people who do read and write it that also read and write lots of other stuff. You can be successful without writing to trend. You do have to write to market, but not to trend and not to fetish and still be successful. You’ve got to write a great story, have an awesome to genre cover and a killer blurb. You’ll be surprised how well you can do.

      So if you friend is frustrated with the idea that he can’t get his books seen, maybe he’s failing in some way other than simply not writing these “bad” books that he sees making bank.

      Now I’m going to say something hard and I hope you don’t take it the wrong way, but here it goes.

      You can’t put that kind of hate – and yes, its hate and yes, its hatred against women especially – into the world and be a “good” guy at the same time. I get that he’s your friend, but think about what he wrote. Think about what that means he really feels about women. I may become frustrated at times, but if I were to put down a rant like he did full of invectives, stereotypes, cruelty, etc. … well, the thing is that I wouldn’t do it unless that were truly in my heart. I think this is what’s in his heart and it’s toxic.

      It’s not us that needs to take a step back and look at what we’re projecting. It’s him. I hope he thinks on this.

  13. Coajfer July 22, 2018 at 11:17 pm #

    I TOTALLY agree with Raythe. I have read several M/M Romances and erotica written by gay men and only ONE has managed to be a great writer. It’s sad that most M/M Romances of in any form of media are always depressing or stereotypical. Characters that are all submissive and simple, or total “alphas”, stories that have no direction, nothing. Raythe’s stories have everything. Action, humour, romance, erotica, sad moments, you name it. And I don’t care that a woman is writing these stories. What matters is that she is a great author who writes well thought out stories. And I love her serials giving so much detail that I can see everything happening before me. Whoever wrote that comment is a loser. Nuff said!

    • Raythe July 23, 2018 at 3:49 am #

      You’re very sweet to say that about my writing. I think of myself as writing action-adventure, paranormal WITH gay characters as the lead. While I am not the best writer by far, I have a clear idea of what I like to write about and can give that to readers. Sometimes a writer’s work doesn’t speak to you. It’s not that it’s bad, it’s just that it isn’t your cup of tea. When it does slip into stereotypes, sometimes writers are trying to reach an emotional fantasy that isn’t working, sometimes its just they don’t really know the type of character they are writing, sometimes they simply aren’t good at it. LOL! I’ve had those moments.

      • Coajfer July 24, 2018 at 9:27 pm #

        It’s nice that there’s the sexy scenes in your stories but what keeps me hooked is the actual story line. Sometimes I go to sleep late because I’m so eager to find out what happens next. I love that there are gay protagonists. I think that guy was just totally hating for having such a following. By the way, Ever Dark is my total favourite!!!!!! I love everything so far about Daemon and Julian!

    • Erinys July 23, 2018 at 2:13 pm #

      Yeah! I don’t even read/watch/appreciate one-dimensional stories/media/art! I prefer to have, demand, multi-faceted works of art to appreciate! And Raythe gives us this! The books I read and love have characterization, dialogue, adventure, drama, sorrow, growth, psychology, realism, etc. Raythe has all if this. Romance and sex is secondary — by far and away — for a good story.

      I didn’t even LIKE sci-fi before I gave Abaddon and Anarion a chance! That speaks to Raythe’s skill as an author, and that’s what’s important.

      So what if a story in the M/M community is ‘bad’? It’s still growth and a step in the right direction, for simply existing, having been written, the beautiful worlds being expanded upon, if you ask me.

      Do you know how many trashy het romance novels are out there?! The community of people who write het are no worse off for it. They just continue writing their books with het romance in them, and so do the writers of ‘trashy’ romances. They appeal ti completely different audiences!

      It’s like holding a taste testing of honeycrisp apples, golden peaches and blood oranges — (yum!) there just isn’t a basis for comparison. A M/M relationship is not enough for two books to be compared and one found lacking, with only that one other book as a basis for comparison. It’s like comparing a. . . um, a Legolas/Aragorn fanfic to a, umm, Dean/Castiel fanfic, to a Sephiroth/Cloud/Zack. They are in completely different genres!

      And no one is going to say, this is what I like/is my fetish, and be turned off completely from one or a dozen bad books they read. They’re going to keep looking! So other books in the community, bad or good, read or unread, have no basis on his readership. I hate to break it to him, but his writing does.

      If anything, the M/M community is too SMALL!!!

      With this uphill battle for love and acceptance in the LGBTQ community, especially the perverted parts, every art contributor standing beside us helps! If female M/M writers quit wrting, I would sob like a baby. And so what if I appreciate the male form in art? It’s just what I prefer! I have no idea why, but so what? I like some het ships too, like Sesshoumaru/Kagome, just as I like Sephiroth/Cloud and Harry Potter/Tom Riddle, and how I like reading Supernatural without a pairing.

      I adore good writing above all else, and I think I’m not alone.

      So his perspective is flawed! He writes one kind of book and dismisses all of the others as trash, for the mere reason it isn’t his! Who is he to say, all-inclusively, that all M/M written by women are trash!

      I’ve found that every absolute is absolutely wrong! Never say never and all that jazz!

      Oh! And /VIBRATORS/! I’ll get off on whatever I dawn well please to get off on, thank-you-very-much, misogynist. What I do in my house is none of your, or anyone elses’, damn business unless it’s torture or murder! GOOD day, sir!

      Peace! Love you guys! (Forgive my weird tangents. Self-proclaimed oddball comimg through!)

      – Cas

  14. Fara July 22, 2018 at 11:50 pm #

    On one level, I get the actually logical argument people could be trying to make – it boils down to appropriation and ensuring #OwnVoices get heard properly. And yes, straight women writing gay romance are probably more likely to veer into the world of objectification and misrepresentation. I think a lot of that probably has to do with their goals in writing. If they are writing erotica, I think this is far more likely to happen. And they should be judged accordingly, just as one would judge a white person writing a novel about black people. Do it well, and you’re fine. Do it poorly, and you are (rightfully) trash. There’s also the issue of whether people are being shut out from their own subject matter. I don’t think it’s easier for an M/M romance to sell under a female name. I do know that the publishers of lgbt+ books are doing a disservice to many of their writers (and I’m not talking about gay men, I’m more thinking of those who are famously racist…) On another level, I have dealt with so many misogynistic and transphobic gay men that I do not have much sympathy.

    But it’s even more complicated than that. As a genderfluid person, should I only read and/or write M/M romance on my “guy” days? And I can only write and read agender on my agender days, obviously. And ladies on my femme days. My guy days are more demi-boy than full on male, so maybe I don’t get any participation there after all. I’m not sure where that puts the actual relationships those characters are allowed, either, since I’m almost by definition panromantic. I don’t read F/F because it is usually always still fraught with the gender pressures of the real world. It seeps in through the cracks. And good luck finding much quality fantasy romance featuring enbies!

    • Raythe July 23, 2018 at 12:42 am #

      THIS is what the discussion should really be about, which is why I wanted to discuss it at all. Otherwise, ranting on the internet is so common that I’d do nothing else with my time responding to it.

      If people write about a group badly then yes, they are rightful of scorn and certainly not deserving of our dollars to support art. It is always good to see people of that group writing about their group because it gives more insight and helps people understand.

      But if we say your biology is the only thing determining whether you can write or read about someone … no, just no. Like you said, you’d be shut out and that’s absurd.

      Erotica is a lot about fetishes and objectification for some people.That’s its nature in a lot of ways. Romance shouldn’t be. But like I said: KNOW YOUR SHIT before you write. And listen to the people in that community if you’re not capturing it. Then do better.

  15. A_h_ July 23, 2018 at 1:22 am #

    Raythe, stop hoarding all the imaginary hot gay men for yourself and your readership. Geez!

    • Raythe July 23, 2018 at 3:39 am #

      But I don’t like sharing … LOL!

  16. A_h_ July 23, 2018 at 1:28 am #

    Srsly though, while I’m not surprised this view exists, it’s disappointing. Glad you didn’t post a link, since a flame war wouldn’t accomplish anything. People continue to be blinded by prejudice, no matter where you go. I think your points were evocative and compelling. Hopefully someone, somewhere, will read them and take a different view.

    • Raythe July 23, 2018 at 3:43 am #

      I just don’t get what the point of his rant is. He wants anyone other than gay men to stop reading and writing M/M? He thinks that having a narrower group of people experiencing this will be better for gay men? It’s just illogical. Kat has her theory above and that’s the most understandable viewpoint of it. My understanding from a brief look at FB that this author is continuing to dig himself even deeper … Yeah okay. There’s no end game here that leads to anything good for him. In fact, I think he’s pretty much ensured he WON’T be read.

  17. Slipher July 23, 2018 at 5:24 am #

    I am glad that POV like theirs are not the norm or I would be pissed. I first read your writing Raythe before I even knew it was you. I bought the Merman book series from iBooks. I saw your add on Facebook for Everdark and was hooked back in. Never stop writing I love your stories and my only complaint is there never seems to be enough. I need to check out the Merman series again because I do not believe I read an ending to it. My POV is that close minded biggots should shut it, though we are all entitled to an opinion. Sorry jumping from one thought to the next…that’s me. Love your stories and keep them coming.

  18. Julie Hutchison July 23, 2018 at 1:40 pm #

    That’s just silly. I read M/M because a million harlequin stories later I want to read something different.

    I’m like Janel way up there, in that I frequently skim the sex, almost always in the reread of favourite stories which I do– a lot.

    Personally I’ve read romances of all sorts by men AND woman that are crap. Good writing is not based on gender. I’m always a little surprised when the gay men stink at M/M although I’m not sure why I expect them to do it better, writing is writing you’re either good at it or you aren’t. Maybe it’s just me but, the sex just is not ‘the’ most important thing in a good story unless you are reading erotica.

    I have to wonder if he hates that women read M/M and doesn’t think we should… do you have to take a gender test to buy his books. Also, I hope this isn’t any of the gay men I read because I would certainly stop if he didn’t want my girl cootie covered $$. Plenty of other authors out there if he doesn’t.

    As for Raythe’s stories. I don’t read them all because not everyone is interested in the same things. The ones I do read are because like all good stories the characters and plot draw me in. I also still read fanfic, lots of it. That’s my choice just like it’s my choice on how I’ll spend my money and he doesn’t get to decide that for me.

    • Raythe July 23, 2018 at 3:58 pm #

      Maybe he thinks there are enough gay male readers who want to read about plumbers (yes, he also objects to good looking men …) and their plight that he doesn’t need anyone else. But I shouldn’t laugh … well, not too much. It’s actually pretty sad laughter because it looks like he’s doubling down on this and accusing trans men of not being men or, at least, not belonging in the M/M space … Yeah, I’m having a harder and harder time seeing him as anything other than a troll.

      • Erinys July 23, 2018 at 4:32 pm #

        Oh, wow. He really does sound like a hateful ass. Huh. And Shandara seems to think so too. It seems his view of the world is impossibly narrow, and the world is going to leave him there.

        I don’t know about anyone else, but the books I’m looking for are fantastical and strange and glorious, not about not-good looking gay male plumbers. The plight of plumbers, really? Um, wow.

        . . .yeah, what? That doesn’t even make sense. If he wants a small readership, let him have it.

        Seriously, attacking trans? Why?! It’s their choice and it’s not hurting anybody!

        Maybe he is a troll? Somebody, how close does he come to the definition of a troll?

  19. Shandara July 23, 2018 at 2:44 pm #

    I have read the entirety of this blog and found it as offensive to other writers as well as the readers. I cannot understand how anyone could assume that what genitalia we have dictate 1.) Our experience, 2.) Our Imaginations, 3.) Our ability to enjoy words for the sake of them alone. I read what speaks to my heart, what I enjoy. I enjoy reading romance, fantasy, sci-fi, whatever I love it all. I could give a whit less if the person writing it is male, female, gender fluid, non-binary or any other flavor of the rainbow. I care about whether or not they can write a good story. If that story touches me, arouses my interest (and no I don’t mean my steal a phrase from Dangerous Beauty, Desire begins in the mind), and whether or not that story can keep my interest. In other words a crap book is a crap book no matter the sex of the author and vice versa. While I will never have the full experience of what it is to be a gay man I know what it is to love, to desire, to want a future both beautiful and bright and when it comes down to it, those things have absolutely nothing to do with your sexy bits. All stories begin as a kernel inside the mind of an author and they feed it, tend it, watch it grow and then deliver it to us and we are privileged to get to share in that world. Writers, storytellers and bards have been revered since before time began. They are important to our history and nobody ever cared if it was a man or woman telling the story. Just that the story got told.

    • Raythe July 23, 2018 at 4:00 pm #

      “While I will never have the full experience of what it is to be a gay man I know what it is to love, to desire, to want a future both beautiful and bright and when it comes down to it, those things have absolutely nothing to do with your sexy bits.”

      This is absolutely the core of being a good writer and being able to tell a story beyond your own self. Really, this is what it is all about.

  20. Kat July 23, 2018 at 3:48 pm #

    What it all comes down to is the readers. What do THEY enjoy? Do THEY care who writes the stories they love?

    When the conversation turns from “women shouldn’t write M/M” to “no one should read M/M written by women,” THIS is something I take issue with. It is not up to any author to deem who is unworthy of reading their books, and that’s the hidden argument that this author is making. Fortunately, readers are smarter than that.

    There are plenty of men who subscribe to RR. Are THEY wrong to enjoy stories about dudes because Raythe is a woman?

    But this argument will never hold water if it makes it back to the OP – right now, the OP is like a toddler throwing toys, not caring if he breaks a beloved action figure, hurts himself, or hurts others. The regret, damage control, and post deletion will come later… (Or he’ll ‘double down’ to save face, idk.)

    • Raythe July 23, 2018 at 4:02 pm #

      I’ve gotten private messages from some of our male members who are just like: WTF?! Is this guy crazy? And to that, my reply is: Yes, yes, he is. It’s so damned tiring.

  21. GhostRage July 23, 2018 at 3:54 pm #

    I honestly could give less than a damn about who wrote the books as long as they are well written.(although I will look more into favorite authors) It’s not what or who you are alone that makes a good book.
    The best books are those that make the characters alive and real to the reader and you don’t have to be something/someone specific to make it happen. We would never have any good books if everyone followed his logic.
    I don’t generally care about a pairing to much unless something about it freaks me out. What I want is a well written story that makes the characters and their world alive to me. It’s hard to find quality writing on a constant basis irreguardless of what that pairing is.
    Its one of the reasons I like Raythe so much. I can randomly pick a story and I know I will get an actual story thats well written and thought out, not just badly disguised smut even if that story is not my cup of tea.
    Gay, bi,trans, het I really don’t care what my authors claim as long as they tell me a good story like Raythe does. I can however understand that who you are can influence your writing style and what you are passionate about writing.

    • Raythe July 23, 2018 at 4:07 pm #

      I’m the same way. I read what interests me and then I sometimes look into who those authors are, not because I want them to be like their characters, but because I’m curious what type of person they are that they could imagine this. I think I did this the most with Dean Koontz after reading his Fear Nothing, which he never finished …

      Now that The Bodyguard is coming out, I don’t have to feel guilty complaining about him not finishing something!

  22. River Iris July 23, 2018 at 4:04 pm #

    Absolutely it doesn’t matter. I write about starving alien vampires and immortal elementals who have no place in the Human world, to name a few things I am not. I do know first hand what loneliness depression and mind-numbing fear are like. I know second hand what starvation and slavery are because of my ancestry on either side of my family. But if someone did their homework and did not have those experiences it would only add insight that I may not have since I’m so close to the issues.

    That said, and I don’t want to sound too crass, but from the reader’s pov., just like in single player video games what does it matter what the reader ‘gets’ from a book? As long as they don’t act like a jerk to real people, what goes on in your own head, and bed =P, is up to you and not anyone else. This goes for fanfiction too. Unless a story hurts the reputation of an author/writer/real-person, does writing ‘bad’ fics, or writing fics at all make the source material corrupted? I know this has been brought up a lot over the years, yet it’s still a hot-button topic for a lot of people; both authors and readers. ♥

    • Raythe July 23, 2018 at 4:12 pm #

      It’s almost like the people who put out these arguments want to control things that just aren’t controllable and SHOULDN’T be controllable. How someone reacts to a story you write is impossible to control and you shouldn’t want to control it. You should be eager to see what they feel. How have you touched someone?

      And just b/c the characters are gay doesn’t mean what they are going through isn’t universal. There’s a lot that is.

  23. Kaitlin Young July 23, 2018 at 8:01 pm #

    Eh let the idiot spout whatever bull he wants to. It’s not going to change policy and from what I’ve been reading most people are in the same boat as the rest of us; we know what complete tripe he’s spouting.
    And should I ever meet the dumbass I will reply to his argument with a simple, “J. K. Rowling isn’t a wizard (or a boy for that matter), Tolkien wasn’t a hobbit and R. A. Salvatore isn’t a drow.” And I’ll walk away.

    • Raythe July 24, 2018 at 12:49 am #

      One thing I saw on FB that upset me was that at least one writer actually unpublished her M/M book because of some of this hatred that he spewed at her. Now, if you’re going to be putting out books, you got to have a thicker skin, especially against a no-nothing like him.

  24. Micha July 23, 2018 at 10:52 pm #

    You offered a trial period, after giving readers a chance to read several chapters. I’ve never been a fan of this style of one chapter at a time, however you also let readers have access to your completed work. If I didn’t like your style of writing I wouldn’t read it. I’ve skimmed over a lot of comments at the end of the chapters, you definitely have fans who also enjoy your characters as I do.

    One of my mentors had a quote he would use for occasions such as this. “Fuck ’em if they can’t take a joke, joke em if they can’t take a fuck”.!!!!

    • Raythe July 24, 2018 at 12:53 am #

      I think that almost proves the point. I’m a woman. I have gay male readers. I have straight female readers. I have readers everywhere inbetween that, because its about telling almost universal stories where we can all relate. My God, Dragon’s Reign is about racism yet its in a MM book about … well a gay romance with giant dragon shifters …

  25. Evilcleo July 24, 2018 at 12:25 am #

    I’m sure most people would write to the original poster and basically comment/report/harass him to death where he will pull the article or get thoroughly embarrassed in not doing so. I mean, not only is that crossing LGBT and feminist lines, his thinking is very archaic- whether one thinks only homosexual men should write m/m or not. (Personally, I don’t care. It’s about being able to relate the characters/situation for me.)

    Honestly, there’s tons of petty stuff like that. Even on linkedin. You wouldn’t believe all the articles that make big statements and conclusions based on one opinion or person and yet they never report where they got this info from much less where the data is. It takes basic scientific reasoning we learn in elementary school to figure this out.

    • Raythe July 24, 2018 at 12:58 am #

      While I haven’t linked to him a lot of other people have from what I can tell. But I still don’t want to out him. He’s actually doubling down on his sexism and prejudice in general, saying that trans men are not men and should not be in M/M, etc. He really thinks that his viewpoint matters. It doesn’t. From what I can tell he seems to think he really should be able to dictate what should be in M/M as if by simply being a gay man … he’s god! Please …

      In any event, one other M/M author pointed out that we are still considered lesser in terms of other genres. We need to band together and support one another, not tear each other down. I agree with this author. Sadly, our blog poster and others who believe this aren’t down with that.

      • Micha July 24, 2018 at 2:18 am #

        It sounds like the rhetoric I would hear from people claiming to be old guard. Reminiscing on how much better it was when they joined their community. they couldn’t see that like everything else it had to either adapt or die off. Others from that period also provided feedback of the falsehood of how much better it was.

        The unnamed writer’s words don’t represent anything other than him. He has the right to make his claims, but he in turn has to deal with the consequences of the actions he takes.

        From reading the little I have of your work, I feel that you will always take the high road when you can. (The three men in the alley had a different experience in my head, so I think that my reaction is probably warped)..Daemon would approve.

        Now forget about this joker and write the stories we want to read….. :)-. <~~~ smiley w/goatee

  26. Varada wankar July 24, 2018 at 3:30 am #

    I have a principle of agreeing to disagree with which I have lived my life. A person is entitled to have his opinion on on any thing without having other people forcing them to change it.
    But some opinions simply makes me want to shake some sense into people.
    I am a bookaholic I read everything and anything. That does not mean that I do not have my favorite genres. And while reading has been a great escape for me in difficult times, I was always aware that the world I escaped to was fictious and a product of the authors imagination. Are there bad authors or books, yes they are and do they damage a community, yes they do. Ideally it’s a author’s responsibility to make sure that they do not do so, but it is also a reader’s responsibility to take everything they read with a pinch of salt.
    That said it is ignorant of any person to make public any opinion which does not have facts to back arguments. Only gay people write the best books, how ignorant can you be to believe that and be a writer. That would mean that Robert Ludlum was a spy to have created a iconic character like Jason Bourne.
    And then why just limit this sort of thing to the world of fiction. What about a doctor who say treats people for mental illnesses. They should be mental themselves to have a better understanding of the illness and how to treat it.
    Is there a difference between a book written by a gay person and a non gay person? I would say yes there is. But only because they have a intimate knowledge of what they have to say then say a writer who researches the subject. But that is just the extra seasoning and not the meat of matter.
    I will stop here by saying that we should all remember that we are reading fiction and not a treatise on the subject.

    • Raythe July 24, 2018 at 5:12 pm #

      Normally, I am, too, but not when the opinions are hateful. I think that’s where I feel it necessary to actually speak up, because otherwise these people are emboldened. The fact that this guy already had a negative effect on one author is one author too many. If any readers have been made to feel ashamed that’s unacceptable. So I call it as I see it. The guy’s arguments are wrong and poorly thought out (and even more poorly written which is pathetic considering he poses as a writer) and don’t survive the lightest scrutiny. My understanding is that he’s basking in the backlash, insulting yet more people, and pretty much tanking his career.

      But outside of him personally, whom I hadn’t heard of before I saw this on FB and probably will never hear of again as his fifteen minutes of infamy are finished, is that this idea is held by other people and its got to be challenged.

  27. toughlove July 24, 2018 at 4:27 pm #

    In my experience, most M/M romance is written by women, and many women enjoy reading it.

    “And biology certainly shouldn’t limit what types of people a writer can tell stories about. Writing is as much about knowing the psychology of people as spinning a yarn.”

    – I agree. And that means that white writers may write about black people, and men may write about women (including Lesbians). Try selling THAT to your neighborhood Social Justice Warrior!

    “Being aroused by or liking M/M Romances doesn’t mean gay men are being demeaned or used.”

    – I agree. And, similarly, straight men being aroused by or liking stories about or images of women (including Lesbians) doesn’t mean women are being demeaned or used. Try selling THAT to your neighborhood “Feminist”!

    “They [readers and writers] should be able to take a spin in another person’s shoes, because that’s what allows us to understand each other and bring us closer together as human beings.”

    I applaud your tolerance and openmindedness – both very rare in today’s divisive, exclusionist, and judgmental dominant culture. #MeToo, indeed.

    • Raythe July 24, 2018 at 5:08 pm #

      Ah … here’s the thing. I AM a feminist and you might think some of my views make me a Social Justice Warrior and I believe in the #Metoo movement…

      Using these terms in a derogatory way shuts down conversation. Your assumptions about what SJWs or Feminists or whatever feel is likely to be wrong unless someone is a parody of those things. There is nuance in most people’s belief systems.

      So I would suggest instead of using those words as weapons and assuming that someone you agree with is not one of those things, you just state your opinions instead of name calling. You don’t want to be pidgeon holed either, right? You want people to listen to your opinion and not dismiss you because you of your race, gender, or sexual preference.

      In my opinion, anyone who would state like this author did that no one other than a gay man could write or read M/M is the antithesis of what being a SJW, feminist and or believer in #metoo. Those movements are to give voice to those people who have been traditionally excluded. The moment a person goes from oppressed to oppressor they leave those groups. They become part of the intolerance that has barred progress for minority voices.

      Look, I get it that there are people who have cloaked themselves in these terms only to make others feel excluded and hurt, painted with a broad brush of prejudice, made to feel that they don’t belong. I get it. I loathe that. I call it out when I see it, as I do here. But you’ve got to see that the feminists out there, the SJWs out there, the people who think Harvey Weinstein and his ilk needed to go a long time ago, aren’t necessarily on the other side as you. Put out your points, but don’t name call. Don’t stereotype and you’ll get farther.

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